| "A pessimist sees the difficulty in every
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| | her job. She had the experience of being
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| opportunity, an optimist sees the
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| | in a wheelchair and depending on other
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| opportunity in every difficulty." Sir
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| | people. Being a very independent woman,
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| Winston Churchill
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| | she had little understanding of the
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| Adversity is one of those words that when
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| | experience of being physically
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| we hear it or it comes our way our
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| | handicapped. The pearl for Mary was that
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| inclination is to run and hide from it.
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| | she learned compassion for those who were
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| It feels frightening and uncomfortable.
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| | physically handicapped and those who were
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| Then there are those who choose adversity
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| | in chronic pain. Her adversity changed
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| either as an outcome to wrong ethical or
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| | through the transformation of her
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| moral choices or as a means to an end.
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| | perception.
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| Adversity can be a gift, full of hidden
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| | A few seek adversity for the greater
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| jewels or it can be a dreaded part of
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| | good. Mother Teresa is an example. After
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| life that leaves us feeling depleted,
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| | falling ill with tuberculosis and was
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| depressed and discouraged. How we
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| | sent away to heal, she received the call
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| perceive, receive and respond to
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| | of God to work in the slums of Calcutta
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| adversity depends on nature (our innate
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| | where she lived with the poorest of the
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| personality), nurture (our primary
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| | poor, the rejects of society, the
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| caretakers influence) and autonomous
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| | homeless. Adversity surrounded her not
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| choice (adulthood).
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| | only from a sustenance point of view, but
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| Each of us are born with an essential
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| | also initially from her superiors at the
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| nature. It is the soul, the spirit, the
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| | Catholic Church. She experienced
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| person we are to be in life. Some of us
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| | adversity from the local religions where
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| are born persistent, and curious and even
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| | she established her home. She experienced
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| as babies would laugh at about
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| | adversity from choosing poverty as her
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| everything. Others of us are born shy and
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| | calling.
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| reserved and would cry at about
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| | She did not choose to overcome adversity.
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| everything. Regardless of how we interact
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| | Instead, she integrated it and used it as
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| with the world, we are born with a
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| | energy to develop her ministry: "I choose
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| purpose and a journey to take. Our innate
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| | the poverty of our poor people. But I am
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| personality is our nature.
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| | grateful to receive (the Nobel) in the
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| Then there is the nurture component.
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| | name of the hungry, the naked, the
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| Nurture comes from our primary caretakers
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| | homeless, of the crippled, of the blind,
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| generally the parents but sometimes
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| | of the lepers, of all those people who
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| others. As we grow we observe how they
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| | feel unwanted, unloved, uncared-for
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| respond to adversity. Close your eyes for
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| | throughout society, people that have
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| a moment and think about your childhood
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| | become a burden to the society and are
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| and teen years. When adversity came, did
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| | shunned by everyone." (Excerpt from the
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| your parents get angry or did they take
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| | Nobel Peace Prize Acceptance Speech)
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| it in stride? Did they blame the world or
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| | Then there are those who enter into
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| did they welcome it as an opportunity to
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| | adversity through the wrong choices in
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| learn? How did they respond to you when
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| | life resulting in negative consequences.
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| adversity came to your life? Did they
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| | I, as an international keynote speaker,
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| hold you and promise never to allow you
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| | fall into this category. I was caught up
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| to hurt again, blame other people or the
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| | in the illusion of success. Through a
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| experience, or did they hold you,
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| | series of actions resulting from
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| soothing your tears and encourage you to
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| | unethical choices, I became a Federal
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| try again? Did they ignore your pain?
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| | Prisoner. Although a very painful and
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| Nurture is a very important component to
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| | difficult , I was fortunate in that I did
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| our training in life. We initially
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| | not allow himself to become a prisoner of
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| receive the strength to move through
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| | adversity. Rather my time in Federal
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| adversity by the confidence our parents
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| | prison gave me time to evaluate my life,
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| instill in us.
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| | the choices that lead me to prison and
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| The third component developed when we
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| | develop a plan for the rest of my life
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| became separate from our parents. It is
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| | moving forward. Now a Senior Executive in
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| the element of free choice. It is the
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| | a publicly traded company and a
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| time we use our knowledge and wisdom to
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| | motivational speaker, I have the fortune
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| accept what we were told, reject what we
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| | to share how adversity can have
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| were told or redefine it in such a way
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| | extraordinary outcomes if you choose to
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| that integrates what we accept what we
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| | receive its gift.
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| reject.
| |
| | Adversity does not go away. Gaining
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| If we were raised to fear adversity and
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| | through adversity means that it becomes a
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| choose to hold on to the fear, then we
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| | part of life that refines and defines us.
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| will fear adversity. By the same token,
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| | Recognizing that many people need to
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| if we were raised to expect adversity,
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| | redefine the perception of adversity in
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| then we will have adversity. If we choose
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| | their lives, my prison experience and
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| viewing adversity in this way, we choose
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| | ethics keynote presentations allow others
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| to be held captive by it and experience a
| |
| | to explore the experience of adversity
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| negative outcome. However, if we
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| | and to explore how to receive the
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| understand that adversity is just another
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| | teachings of adversity through my
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| part of life and accept adversity as a
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| | experience.
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| teacher, the outcome is very positive.
| |
| | I created the Choices Foundation (a
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| There are so many pearls in adversity if
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| | non-profit organization). Through this
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| we choose to see beyond our pain, our
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| | organization I am fortunate enough to
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| fear and our disappointment. A friend had
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| | travel to high schools and colleges
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| the misfortune of having her foot crushed
| |
| | teaching ethics and growing through
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| through a very odd accident at work. Mary
| |
| | adversity from lessons learned through my
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| was unable to work and subsequently lost
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| | personal experiences.
|
